Mindset Can Destroy Your Day

From our blog post last week we discussed what mindset is and how it should be the foundation for your special day. We also discussed in very general terms the two types of mindsets: inward and outward. For this week we will start with the most pervasive one.

According to the Arbinger Institute, the inward mindset revolves around you. It is the thought process where you are doing things that are self-focused and that advance only you. This may sound good and may bring to mind that person who irritates you at work that needs to change and not you. While this may seem logical, it is most ineffective and the most pervasive mindset that will occur during your special day. Lets take a realistic example of a situation that may happen on a wedding day.

It’s early on your wedding day and your planner lets you know that your flowers will be 45 minutes late. What is going through your head at that moment?

“That stupid florist can’t manage their time . . she is out to ruin my day . . she probably is running late because she doesn’t care.”  These are all symptoms of an inward mindset.

At one moment all is one with the world and then, in a flash, you have changed your attitude and perceived the worst of the florist. What caused this?  All that changed was that your florist is late. Does this make her incompetent or a bad business owner. Maybe she got in an accident or her kid is in the ER with explosive diarrhea (happens to us many times). The point is that in an instant the florist went from a person to an object in your eyes. When that happens, you change your behavior and thinking of how you perceive your florist. If this mindset persists it will run into every part of your day. At that point will your day be the day you dream of? Probably not.

This may sound gloomy but there is hope. If you find yourself seeing people in a different light I would ask that you stop and ask yourself why am I behaving this way and what do I really want out of this? Stay tuned to next week to discuss the outward mindset and how to implement it.